What’s your #1 priority tomorrow?

My number one priority, let’s be frank,

Is not to be charming, nor clever, nor thank

The stars for my blessings, nor ponder deep thought—

It’s just to ensure that I’m not yet un-bought.

For while others chase dreams, like a Nobel or fame,

My only true goal is to stay in the game.

I wake up each morning, a cynical sigh,

And declare to the world: “Today, I won’t die!”

I skip the extreme sports—they’re terribly gauche—

A mountain to climb? No, I’ll stick to the couch.

I won’t eat the sushi; it’s practically bait.

I’ll stick to beige crackers and watch the front gate.

I read all the labels, I sanitize twice,

Because living to ninety-eight is quite nice.

I’ve mastered the art of the risk-averse choice:

I whisper when speaking, to save my dear voice.

I cross roads only at the light that says ‘Walk,’

And if someone looks cross, I just stop, freeze, and gawk.

I don’t pet the dogs (they might bite off my hand!),

And I certainly won’t help a stranger who’s canned

A whole bunch of trouble. My conscience is clear—

It’s a small price to pay for extending my year!

So go on, you thrill-seekers, with your grand, reckless style,

While I sit in my bunker and carefully smile.

I’m a triumph of caution, a monument to fear,

Because living is boring, but death is so last year.

And when they ask what I accomplished, I’ll say,

“I survived Monday, Tuesday, and most of today!”

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© Joseph R Mason/Richard J Kirk – 2025. If you want to know why, see: About Me…

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