I stepped on the stage with a confident grin,

My knees only knocked from excitement within.

The spotlight came on, I gave it a squint,

And tripped on the mic cord (just a small hint).

~

I stood up with flair like I’d meant it that way,

And coughed out a speech I’d rehearsed yesterday,

At least I thought so… my notes were all gone.

Was that a hiccup? Oh dear, carry on!

~

My voice took on tremors like old violin strings,

My palms were Niagara; my thoughts just grew wings.

My tongue went on strike, my brain yelled, “Retreat!”

But I just kept smiling and shuffling my feet.

~

The crowd looked confused, then politely amused,

A woman in row three looked mildly bemused.

I shouted out, “Questions?” (to buy some more time),

Then, answered one back and whispered a rhyme.

~

A fly buzzed my ear like it knew I was doomed,

While sweat on my forehead quite nearly bloomed.

My cue cards were soaked like they’d bathed in the sea,

But nervous? Me? Oh heavens, not me!

~

I once shook a hand and forgot to let go,

Waved at a statue that looked like my mate Joe.

I laughed at a joke no one else thought was funny,

Then saluted the waiter and called him “my honey.”

~

Yet through all the stumbles, the tangles, the slips,

The quivers, the blunders, and wobbly lips,

I say with a straight face (though twitching a bit):

Nervous? Me? Never! I’m totally fit!

~

So next time I’m speaking, please give me a cheer,

Or maybe a net, or a snack, or a beer.

And if I should faint, just pretend it’s a plan,

After all, I’m a pro! (At least that’s the scam.)

---

What makes you nervous?

I stepped on the stage with a confident grin,

My knees only knocked from excitement within.

The spotlight came on, I gave it a squint,

And tripped on the mic cord (just a small hint).

~

I stood up with flair like I’d meant it that way,

And coughed out a poem I’d rehearsed yesterday,

At least I thought so… my notes were all gone.

Was that a hiccup? Oh dear, carry on!

~

My voice took on tremors like old violin strings,

My palms were Niagara; my thoughts just grew wings.

My tongue went on strike, my brain yelled, “Retreat!”

But I just kept smiling and shuffling my feet.

~

The crowd looked confused, then politely amused,

A woman in row three looked mildly bemused.

I shouted out, “Questions?” (to buy some more time),

Then, answered one back and whispered a rhyme.

~

A fly buzzed my ear like it knew I was doomed,

While sweat on my forehead quite nearly bloomed.

My cue cards were soaked like they’d bathed in the sea,

But nervous? Me? Oh heavens, not me!

~

I once shook a hand and forgot to let go,

Waved at a statue that looked like my mate Joe.

I laughed at a joke no one else thought was funny,

Then saluted the waiter and called him “my honey.”

~

Yet through all the stumbles, the tangles, the slips,

The quivers, the blunders, and wobbly lips,

I say with a straight face (though twitching a bit):

Nervous? Me? Never! I’m totally fit!

~

So next time I’m speaking, please give me a cheer,

Or maybe a net, or a snack, or a beer.

And if I should faint, just pretend it’s a plan,

After all, I’m a pro! (At least that’s the scam.)

---

Image generation by WordPress Ai.

Please note this blog is written in British English!

Please subscribe. Let’s support each other. I always follow back.

© Richard J Kirk, writing as Joseph R Mason – 2025. If you want to know why, see:
https://josephmasonauthor.com/about/ 

If you like what you read, treat me to a coffee:  https://www.buymeacoffee.com/josephiu

Thank you.