What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.

Oh, the questions that plague my days, 

The queries that set my soul ablaze. 

Let me count the ways I despise, 

The things that make me roll my eyes. 

“Did you get a haircut?” No, I shed, 

Like a golden retriever on my bed. 

“Are you tired?” Yes, I’m dead inside, 

But thanks for pointing out my zombie vibe. 

“What’s your plan for the weekend?” My plan? 

To exist, maybe hold a drink in my hand. 

“Why are you single?” Oh, let me see, 

Maybe I’m saving myself for a tree. 

“Can you fix my Wi-Fi?” Sure, I’m a pro, 

At turning it off and on, don’t you know? 

“What do you do for fun?” I stare at walls, 

And answer questions that make me bawl. 

“Are you eating healthy?” Yes, I’m thriving, 

On pizza and caffeine, barely surviving. 

“Why are you so quiet?” Oh, I don’t know, 

Maybe I’m plotting how to make you go. 

“Can you help me move?” Oh, joy, my delight, 

Heavy lifting on a Saturday night. 

“Did you gain weight?” No, I’m just fluffy, 

And your tact? Well, that’s kinda stuffy. 

“When are you getting married?” Let me check, 

My crystal ball’s broken, what the heck. 

“Why don’t you smile more?” Oh, forgive me, 

I’ll grin like a maniac, just wait and see. 

So here’s to the questions that make me sigh, 

The ones that make me want to hide and cry. 

Next time you ask, just pause and think, 

Or I’ll write a poem that makes you blink.

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© Richard J Kirk, writing as Joseph R Mason – 2025.

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